Dancing in Crimson
by WolfPhantoms
Summary: He understood it all. I didn’t have to use the fake smile and say that everything was okay when it wasn’t. Vincent knew. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I listened to his heart- quick from dancing. The dancing- that’s what it had been all about.
1. Define Dancing

"Wow, I never thought Cloud had it in him. Tell me again Tifa," Yuffie leaned over my counter, propped up on her elbows as she watched my reaction intently. I felt my shoulders tense as I glanced up from the glass I was trying to dry.

"For a third time?" I hadn't thought Cloud's earlier announcement of his proposal to one of his girlfriends was such a big deal. It wasn't, wasn't it? I sucked in my breath. "He took her to the restaurant down the street, you know the one-"

"The fancy red rose and all, got it," her lips curved in a wide grin as she waited patiently for me to finish.

"Right. He ordered a chocolate something-or-other and had made the chef put the ring right on top. When she saw it, he officially proposed," I sighed for the rest, "and she officially said yes." Good thing I forgot the woman's name, otherwise I would be rampaging through Edge with a vengeance.

It just wasn't fair.

Looking over at Yuffie told me she already noticed my snappy attitude. And here I had assumed I was fairly good at what Vincent was perfect with- blank expressions. So much for hopeful thinking.

"C'mon Tifa, I thought you were over him for almost two years now. Didn't you two agree it was time to see other people?" Her gaze dropped to her clasped hands, twisting the fingers broodingly.

I smiled at the truth. "We did agree… but somewhere I'm still-," I waved my hand and rag helplessly, listening to the loose water droplets strike the floor beneath me. When I wanted words, sometimes they never showed.

"Hurt."

I turned to Vincent leaning against the kitchen doorframe. He returned my stare and I nodded. "I guess so. Good word choice." If I sounded annoyed, I chose not to apologize for it. I had a right to sulk in my own place, right?

Yuffie's attention sparked to life as the former gunman stalked, quite literally stalked into my small space behind the counter. I shoved my hips forward to accommodate him slipping by and he grunted his thanks. It was how we worked, though others never seemed to understand. I liked the silent communication between us- made our patience last longer during small disagreements during long hours.

"Wow Vinny, you clean up nice," Yuffie eyed him like a piece of chocolate, lingering on his retreating ass longer than any other part of him. Following her gaze, I too found myself ogling at him. So maybe he had a nice ass, I didn't mind perusing what was offered.

Not noticing our focus, he pulled certain bottles off the shelves and placed them down gently along rows of stacked glasses. The one I had been currently drying forgotten, I eyed his work attire for tonight. It was something to marvel at least. That man could make a rag look like a sleek suit without even trying.

I winced briefly- afraid of where my thoughts were leading. I still had a duty to Cloud… didn't I? He just waltzed out of my life and I was already studying other men like they were being offered on a platter. If I didn't pay attention to myself, I would become Yuffie with her bluntness about men.

"Red is you," I complimented, nodding at the silk button down with satisfaction. "But you really should roll up that other sleeve," I suggested, noting the gauntlet arm had that task already completed for obvious reasons. "I wouldn't want it to get ruined when you mix drinks tonight."

"Tifa, I normally wear red," he stated, not turning around to dissect me with his eyes. I felt the grin before I could register if I wanted to smile, recalling the memories of that red cloak.

At least he didn't wear it as much anymore- though sometimes I still missed how mysterious he looked in it. Now, he seemed almost… normal. Maybe more than normal- young girls came here for one thing, to flirt with him. I was usually so busy I never got to witness how he managed to escape them, but I had determination to see one of his acts.

Yuffie waved a hand, nearly smacking me in the process as she scooted further along the worn wood for a better look farther down than the torso. Snickering, I swatted her with the damp rag and it slapped noisily against her skin. The more she looked, the better chance there would be if she managed to get caught.

"Hey! I was just complimenting the slacks… and the ass beneath them!" She covered her mouth with an audible smack as her bright eyes widened in horror at her mistake.

I quickly turned around, returning to my work. If I looked like I wasn't part of the mischief, then maybe Vincent's anger wouldn't reach me. Besides I had the excuse of preparing for work. The bar had to open soon and if I wasn't ready, the customers were not going to wait. Straining my ears for sound, I noticed Vincent shift and I was ready to clean up the mess formerly known as Yuffie.

"Yuffie, I would appreciate if sometime, in the near future, you kept the most private and personal thoughts to yourself."

At least I didn't have to worry about calming the storm. I really didn't want to witness Yuffie mush after Chaos had a field day in my bar.

"And he's working now," I added, glancing down at my clock. Good, another hour before I was crammed in this small building with drunken fiends. I wasn't quite ready to face a crowd after the daunting news Cloud had departed me with.

"Just pay him with sex and there wouldn't be a problem," Yuffie muttered, but I caught it. Opening my mouth like a fish, the rag's wrath plummeted her arm once again. She didn't, no… no thoughts. Stay out of the gutter!

If Vincent wasn't present, I probably would have resorted to violence. Watching the rag flop to the floor and water ooze out of it, I returned her female sign language with a glare.

No, I had no intention of sleeping with Vincent. He was technically the second bartender here- and he was paid with cash. I shuddered… how awkward could we possibly get? I was grateful for the distraction, but this certainly wasn't where I wanted the distraction to go.

I bit my lip. I almost wanted to insist I had Cloud- but after this morning, I didn't anymore. Rubbing my eyes to drive away any persistent tears, I wallowed in my sadness.

Behind me Vincent sighed in distress as he struggled to get by. Shifting to allow him through again, I silently shook my head at the determined look in Yuffie's glazed eyes. This was getting to far out of hand and I could only take so much stress in one day.

"No more drinks for you," I pulled her empty martini glass away from her floundering arms to the safety of my own.

"I agree. It seems I am the designated driver…again… and I have no intention of returning to my apartment with the plan of cleaning vomit off my seat." His back stiffened with old annoyances and I looked at the red tie in his hair. Never liked his back, too perfect for my taste. Vincent reminded me more of the disheveled tall dark and handsome type.

Wait, did I just call him handsome? Wiping Yuffie's martini glass clean, I blamed my rollercoaster of emotions on the speeding train of thoughts rushing down the tracks. If I didn't step out of the way, I was going to get blown away. Part of me didn't care, insisting I was better off crushed on the tracks.

Cloud couldn't have been that much of a strength in my own life, could he? I was always told I was his pillar, but it couldn't have been the other way around as well… I am not that dependent.

Glancing down at my knives beneath the counters ledge for slicing limes, the next fleeting thought nearly made me howl with evil laughter. If I could get close enough to the back of Vincent's head, that little tie wouldn't survive. I would be able to get my way with something today. And Vincent would have no ability to stop me.

Maybe I should do that evil laugh after all. I was sounding like a nutcase- all because of Cloud Strife.

"You're being a party pooper again Vinny," Yuffie's lower lip jutted out in a slight pout as she returned to the stool instead of sprawled over my counter. I found another rag nearby and, out of habit, I wiped where she had been feverishly.

When I was upset, I needed to clean and Yuffie was giving me a good place to start.

"It is nice for you to stay the whole night with us though," I chimed in, finally setting the clean glass with its brothers. It couldn't have gotten any cleaner. I waved Vincent away, mentally daring him to make a rude retort.

With another annoyed grunt, he disappeared back into the kitchen before I heard the refrigerator door pry open. Setting my rags together, with the motherly task of folding them properly, I sighed. "Vincent Valentine, I know you work here, but what could you possibly want in my fridge?" I ran through my limited number of rules for him, did I ever tell him the rules of the fridge?

…Were there even rules for the fridge?

He appeared a few slow minutes later, a heavy laden sandwich in one hand- with a crescent bite already, while the thumb of his gauntlet was currently being cleaned with his mouth. I stared and the squeaking of the stool ceased by me. His lowered gaze rose to the both of us, switching occasionally to take in the different reactions.

Yeah… handsome was a good word to use for Vincent Valentine. Where else could that mouth be placed? Gutter! I didn't want to there. I had Cloud, right? I was telling myself a lie, and I frowned in my confusion. If Cloud was gone, what was I to do with myself now? Did I even have a future outside of the bar?

Relinquishing his hold on the gold thumb, he licked his lips and tilted his head with what I could tell as slight curiosity. I managed to regain my guttered mind first.

"You're not supposed to eat at work," I complained, though to me it sounded more like a whine. I really had no boss-skills to begin with, but whining after gawking probably wasn't the greatest idea on my terms.

Twisting his hand, sandwich and all, Vincent glanced at the thick silver watch wrapped around his wrist. "I have forty five minutes to finish a sandwich. I'll manage."

Whatever he was thinking, he was keeping it to himself. Good, no teasing meant no cranky Tifa to dish out fury. I felt like I was on PMS on a day that should be filled with butterflies and daises.

I wanted to cry. Why had Cloud left? Wasn't I good enough? Why hadn't I made a move while he was still with me? Did I truly love him? So many questions with no answers- that's what Cloud had left me with.

I blinked from my thoughts, noticing I had been staring at Vincent the entire time… and he was staring back. His jaw was clenched and I could tell the very subtle look of frustration etched upon his features. It had taken me years to accomplish that others couldn't even begin to try- reading the face of Vincent Valentine. It was always a fun past time of mine, especially when he would express something new.

New expressions with him were always a joy and a frustration- a joy that he was expressing it, but a frustration that I couldn't read it. I was making it more complicated than it should have been.

"Okay." Yuffie's seriousness drew me away from gazing at Vincent. Thank you Yuffie. "Why are you two _not_ together? Seriously. I mean, Vinny- you've been working for her for how long?"

Vincent frowned, and I could really tell he was challenging his morals to just not release any information. The darker crimson flecks in those bright eyes seemed to intensify as he made a decision. "Almost two years."

"Riiight… and that means there shoulda been lotsa sex and lotsa love right about now! I mean, c'mon Tifa, didn't you see his ass?" Yuffie won the whining award.

If I didn't say something, there would be assumptions of my thoughts on Vincent's ass. I had to think something up quick to show I had my answer set, even though I was in a snowball of confusion traveling downhill. My eyes rolled as I jerked my head in Vincent's direction. "You have a beautiful ass worth mentioning on the Richter scale."

I hoped there was enough sarcasm for him to take it lightly and my lower lip sucked into my mouth as I waited; focused on those specks in his eyes. They were the portals to his emotions, I was sure of it.

His eyebrow twitched, along with the corner of his mouth. The specks held no danger and the coiled muscles I hadn't realized were stiff, slackened till I was a puddle of goo. "There is a rule in this museum, look but do not touch."

The hinge to my jaw fell loose as Yuffie cawed in fits of laughter. Once again Vincent had surprised me with humor of his own, something I was still struggling to get used to. I always thought that Vincent had no humor at all.

I struggled to compose myself until I noticed a flash of blonde behind the tall gunman. Gurgling my complaints, I motioned for Vincent to turn around and when he did step back, he revealed a bright eyed, cheerful Cloud. I wondered if I could strangle him without going to prison.

"Hey guys," He panted, his arm flopping up for a wave. "Forgot to tell you Tifa, Bee says she'd like you to be the maid of honor."

Right, her nickname was Bee… Don't tell me anymore Cloud or I might hire a Mercenary to hunt her down.

Before I could object, especially when a dark voice in the deep reaches of my mind insisted I had no intention to going to the wedding, Yuffie quite literally fell from her seat. All of us turned to stare at the empty space she had occupied only seconds before. For a minute, I was thankful I wasn't the only one having problems before I leaned over the counter.

"Yuffie, are you alright?" I asked, resting against the counter on my elbows. I couldn't be mean to others just because I was having my problems. Vincent shifted a step, stretching his neck to at least check up on her- his jaw working on a bite of his sandwich in the process. Well, the man had compassion. Thank the gods otherwise Yuffie would have yelled at him for not caring.

"Ah Cloud, that's so sweeet!" Yuffie cooed, pulling herself up with the aid of the counter. I made no move to help her, and instead stared as my former fondness for the swordsman began disappearing.

Cloud's cheeks pinked and I imagined my hand where the skin had darkened. Maybe I could leave a mark and scream 'how could you?' at the top of my lungs. I still had time before the shop opened. I clenched my fists, just to release some stress as I debated my options.

No, no violence in Seventh Heaven today. I would have to handle the drunks later anyways. He was waiting for an answer, and I had to give it. I blurted the first thing that came to mind.

"I would… be honored," I said softly, keeping my temper in check. Cloud's smile lit up even more and I couldn't help but grin softly. I was pleasing him to the very end, still serving as his pillar. I couldn't just say no to him, like I wanted to.

"Great! I've got Barret as my best man. Bee and I want this to be simple, so it'll be just like a small party or something." He scratched the back of his head, the little obsessive habit of his. I could only nod in agreement.

"When will we learn the details?" Vincent swallowed and looked over at him. I watched Vincent instead- focused on the bangs curved behind his ears. Why couldn't he let them hang? Fixing the little issue would keep my hands away from Cloud's neck.

"Soon, Bee loves planning things right away so she'll be keeping me busy from now on. I'll keep you posted." Through the corner of my eye, I watched his wrist rise for his face. "Shoot, I promised Bee I'd meet her a minute ago. I gotta scoot!"

I never thought Cloud could move so quickly. I felt a tearing where my heart would have been- my mind adding the sound in for effect. I had always waited for him, thought he would be perfect for me and we would live happily ever after. I never thought it would be like this, but the tears I had stored up for such an occasion never came. A nudge in the arm came instead and I noticed Vincent's elbow.

"We have work to do," He chided and I could only nod, frowning as hair slipped from the proper place. Tucking it back with a flick of my wrist, I returned to the counter, where Yuffie was once again leaning up to get a sneak peak of Vincent again as he strode away.

Okay, my happiness was currently a deflated bubble, leaving my sarcasm in place. I didn't care I was bitching, it actually satisfied the fury for a while.

"If you keep staring he's going to wipe that smirk off your face," I reminded her, keeping my voice low in case he was within hearing distance.

"I know," Yuffie shrugged, her fingers toying with themselves before her. "But you know what? A guy like him only comes in rarity, and I'm taking all I can get. Besides, I don't see you nearly enough. Maybe when I need a second dosage of hot ass, I'll give you a call."

Shaking my head again, something I had been doing quite a bit of recently, I fought down my snort. "At least I'm needed for something." The thought made my heart sink a little further into oblivion.

Was I just called useless? I tried not to think on it, they were my friends. They were only teasing, but how many lies had been told to me? Cloud had always insisted we would be together, but that never happened. I was surrounded by lies.

Yuffie laughed freely, one of her hands slipping down to clutch a side. "Tifa, you're too funny!" Wiping away the traces of tears, she leaned even further forward. "Hey Vince!"

The said man appeared in the doorway to the kitchen once again, licking his fingers clean of any traces of his sandwich.

"Yes Yuffie," his deep voice was wary as he regarded both of us. Those sparks in his eyes were guarded again and I mentally cursed my misfortune. I secretly enjoyed the ability to read him when others could not.

Besides, the skill had come with months of practice. It was a skill worth having.

"Take me to the wedding," she grinned wickedly. "I want to be around that ass of yours."

"You're drunk," His gaze flickered to mine and I shrugged. I didn't want to influence his choices, but I already knew the answer he had plucked from the many.

"All the better to be myself!" She flung her arms wide and stumbled in her seat. My reflexes managed to clasp her forearm before she collapsed to the floor.

"We will discuss this when you are sober," he muttered. Well, that was a big fat no on his part.

"I'll take you upstairs Yuffie, I have a nice bed for you," I gave her a light tug on her arm. Vincent stepped forward to help but I held up my hand before he could get very far. The last thing he needed was Yuffie to rant how he carried her to bed. "She'll walk."

The hesitation to obey my order was evident until he dutifully retreated to the kitchen and out of my wrath's way. I had no intention to be cruel, but the last thing _I_ needed was an excited Yuffie attempting to drag Vincent with her to wherever her fantasies led. Not going to happen.

"You know, you should go with him to the wedding. Wear something red, red is sexy to him ya know. It matches his eyes- that's why he wears it all the time. Can't wear other colors." Her words began to slur but I caught the drift of her attentions. Gripping her shoulders, I guided her for the stairs- pushing her up each one. It reminded me of pushing a stubborn chocobo.

"Yuffie, I don't need a matchmaker. We'll be fine, thanks." Yep, considering there was nothing between us.

Finally reaching the top of the stairs, I urged her into the nearest room, which happened to be the vacant one of Cloud's. Great, facing more of my misery.

Yuffie, upon noticing the bed, lumbered over to it and flopped down on her stomach. I wasn't quite sure if she had already fallen asleep by the time I reached for the door, but I had no more time left to find out.

Galloping down the stairs, I noticed Vincent in my normal spot twirling bottles in his hand in a practiced talent. Freezing at the bottom, I watched as the alcohol was flipped in the air and poured easily. People paid me to see him, and I readily accepted his help.

No matter how many times I asked how he managed to learn the said tricks, he never answered. I took it as some sort of natural talent, perhaps from working with guns for so many years. Twirling a gun in his hands probably was the same as twirling a bottle of alcohol.

"She's drunk," he stated again, glancing over at me as he clinked the bottles down, a little too forcibly for my taste.

"I wouldn't mind being a little tipsy right now, but we have work to do," I sighed, wandering over to him. Actually, I wanted to be drop-dead drunk… but he didn't need to know that. Besides, I had learned from so many that drinking away your sorrows never worked. They always came back to haunt you the next morning.

I wandered over to him, standing behind his shoulder- so close that I could follow the ripples in his shirt. It wasn't like we weren't familiar with each other, in fact, neither of us complained at our close friendship, which was fine with me. It had taken so many weeks to develop and I was pleased to have a companion who seemed to understand just a little bit about me.

So as I lowered my head onto his nearest shoulder, there were no protests out of his mouth like there would have been in the times where he still would wear the cloak.

I focused on the flexing muscles beneath my cheek while I watched him finish making a drink, most likely for practice. Time to ask what I truly wanted to know. I sensed Vincent wasn't going to avoid the answer with me, for we had spent too many long hours at the bar learning each other's secrets. "Are you seriously going to take Yuffie to the wedding?" I asked, inhaling heavily. He smelled of his cologne, not thick enough to clog my senses, but still strong to be an impressive scent.

It reminded me of a spice, but I could never put a name to it and after what Cloud had announced today, it was… soothing…

"No."

Thank the gods. "Ah. Back to the one worded answers with me again? I thought we got through that years ago." I poked him, grinning as he sucked in his side with a gasp.

"You expect me to elaborate."

Reluctantly pulling away, I wandered to the door and removed the closed sign. "Always." I winked in his direction and he chuckled while he finished cleaning up with a white rag against the gold shine of his gauntlet. A startling contrast that caught my attention and I stared.

"I have no intention of going to the wedding with anyone specific." Vincent clenched the fingers of his left hand. "I will most likely be there for the ceremony but-"

A middle-aged man stepped through the door, hesitating as he let his eyes adjust to the gloom of the store. Staring past him out into the sunset, I sighed at the orange glow. Another day gone, the first of many without the knowledge that Cloud would return, and I was already moody.

"Good evening, how can _we_ help you?" The subtle insistence on the word 'we' brought me to the present and I faced my customer with a fake smile. One that would not be noticed, even by the regulars later in the night. After working at Seventh Heaven for such a long time, I managed to perfect the simple little happiness act.

I was surrounded by lies, and now living one. It was becoming harder to hold the smile as I watched my bar begin to fill up.

Wandering back to the counter, I exchanged a glance with Vincent, his gaze a scorching warning to keep my mind on the work. With a pang of anger, I silently hissed at him. If he wanted to be the boss, at this rate he could just purchase Seventh Heaven from me.

Twisting away from Vincent, I wiped at my face. No tears, not yet. Later when I was in bed. My promises to myself didn't seem to be working, and I sniffed.

The man mumbled his order, not loud enough for me to get a clear understanding. I ignored Vincent's pleasant talk with the customer as he prepared the man's drink similar to every one he did. The bottles leaped from his hand, spinning between his fingers and twirling over his palms.

As the trick finished, the man was applauding by the time I reached the stereo situated by Vincent's legs. Giving his thigh a quick brush with my arm to let him know I was sneaking around, I pushed the on button. Watching the screen light up, I waited until I heard the heavy beat of something extremely close to techno.

It was a fascination of mine to watch as Vincent controlled the beat and molded with it. His body slacked as he let his arms move, the bottles almost becoming extensions of his hands as he worked. A slight smirk slowly curved his lips and I smiled softly at his contentment.

I could imagine the muscles rippling beneath the fabric to control his movements. Wait… gutter! No!

After all he had been through, he still managed to find peace. Instead of being jealous, I wanted to attack him with every question I had. If he could answer them, maybe I could find that peace too.

The man waved at me and I turned to nod back at him with my fake smile still in place. I was gloomy, and I felt my frustrations rising to the top of my priority. If I didn't find an outlet soon, I knew I would start yelling and it would really be a big explosion.

"What are you thinking?" Vincent's breath tickled my ear as he slipped past me. I trembled anyway, even though there was no hidden intent behind his heavy voice.

The gutter returned and I fell through it. "If you're seriously a good dancer," I muttered, not in the slightest mood to begin my rant in front of incoming customers.

Vincent's chuckle remained behind as he moved to greet another customer in waiting. My heart filled with sorrow at the woman, clasped against the arm of a man who was grinning fondly at her. They were regulars and even though I tried to remember their names, I never could.

I couldn't take it anymore. Rushing to the furthest corner in the kitchen, hidden from all by my fridge- I pressed my back against he cool metal and released the snarl that had been growing.

"I never get a happy ending…" I forced the sob down into only a gurgle; not caring in the least for the music was too loud for anyone to hear. Including Vincent.

Okay, so maybe I was taking this wedding topic a little hard. When Cloud had agreed to go separate ways, I had always assumed he only needed some fresh air and then return like always.

I should have realized my waiting for him had been useless. Cloud was never interested in me for a relationship. I was family, and that was it.

I didn't know how long I sat, curled up with my knees bent against my chest, but when I did try to move, I barely could. Wincing, I rolled to my hands in preparation to stand. The loud beat of music could still be heard, which meant the bar was still open.

"I was wondering where you disappeared to," Vincent looked down at me, his face blank but I could read his eyes this time.

Pain. Why was he sad?

Sniffling, I stood with the grateful help of his hand. "I needed some time to think. What time is it?"

His smirk was swift and threw me off guard. "Two in the morning."

The bar closed at one. My hand flew towards my mouth as I rushed for the door. No, no, no, no…. He should have- "Why didn't you fetch for me?" I hollered back, stopping at the door where the empty bar was already cleaned for the night. Vincent had even taken the care to stack the chairs on the tables.

"Tifa, I had no idea where you wandered," He came up behind me, so close I could feel the light press of his chest. I wanted to give him a hug, to cry into that chest of his, but refused the thought. "And I am sorry for what you are going through." His voice was soft, darkened with sympathy. Was that sadness earlier expressed, because of me?

The disappointed ache returned to my stomach and I clutched at it. Shrugging my worries away, I left him to step in the center of the bar- listening to the music. "I always knew Cloud would find something stable in his life, and I'm really happy for him, but I always thought it would be me. So sure I never really worried."

"Tifa, you asked me a question earlier," His voice grew louder as he approached and I turned to greet his intense gaze. My confused mind demanded to know the question and I frowned. The former issues faded as I focused on the one Vincent had passed to me. What question?

Vincent ran his fingers through his hair, tugging on the tie to keep it back. Grumbling my protests, I reached over his shoulders myself and removed the tie to watch with satisfaction as his hair spilled around his shoulders like it used to in the old days. I clenched the little piece of leather in my fingers before pocketing it.

Vincent chuckled, brushing a hand through the ebony to make it an even bigger mess. My hands went up to his face anyways, organizing his bangs to hang attractively along his cheeks and jaw line. He waited until I was finished; nothing expressed to hint at his thoughts. I didn't get a protest, so I assumed he didn't mind.

There, I got something I wanted tonight.

"Perhaps it wasn't in question form. You wondered if I could dance." His hand slipped up between us, an offer that I could either accept or deny. He was letting me choose and I stared for the longest time in the darkened light, examining the shadows of his skin and shirt. If I took, I wasn't sure where is intentions laid. I didn't want to leap into something I wasn't ready for. But this was Vincent- and we were friends. Had a friendship. My brow furrowed as I thought things over.

His hand clasped mine.

"Come with me," Vincent pulled me further into the empty space of the bar. I hesitated, wondering how we would be dancing and dropped his hand. I wasn't an expert and normally stepped on my partner's feet. Of course I knew the typical shuffle of a slow dance, but that's all.

A martial artist who didn't know how to dance. That had a sad humor to it.

I swallowed my tongue, or at least, I think I did when Vincent tossed his head back and began to sway with the beat- a little more… advanced, than what I had seen behind the bar counter. His eyelids flickered closed slightly and with one finger, he motioned me over to him.

I held my breath, mesmerized by him. I consumed the full view; starting from his legs up to the relaxed and lustful look on his face. My brain screamed dangerous, my heart was whispering who really gave a shit? Cloud suddenly didn't matter, the wedding didn't matter- my whole world revolved around us. And how truly beautiful he was.

The light reflected along his pale skin, and I caught his throat in a swallow. Again he beckoned me to him- a playful smirk lifting the corners of his mouth.

"I'm not good," I warned him, my voice soft so I didn't break the spell Vincent was under, but I couldn't help the grin that was beginning to form. My stomach twisted in knots as he shrugged lightly and snatched my wrist into his claw.

So I was dragged to dance with Vincent. Pulling my back against his chest, his hips ground into mine as I slowly learned his rhythm. Laughing at the ridiculousness of it and smiling at the chuckles behind me- he gave me a light twirl.

I stumbled on my feet anyways as he pulled me back against him. I gasped at the feeling of his heated body so close to my own. His lips pressed against the skin of my neck, slowly brushing along to my shoulder. "Let the music take you," he insisted.

I chuckled at him anyways, too happy being in his presence to actually listen to common sense. His hands lowered to my hips, guiding me through the moves he was performing and I leaned further back.

It was the music, I was sure of it. I lost track of time as Vincent and I danced through the bar. Our friendship was remaining strong, even through our goofing around… and I needed to find my strength back. How strange that I was doing it through dancing. I turned in his grasp, keeping contact between us as he swayed and looked up at him.

I was being stared at.

I lowered myself away from him; embarrassed I had allowed myself to get so far. I read the expression- Vincent wasn't worried about our predicament in the slightest.

To him, it was just a dance. Then why did I feel like it was so much more? Maybe because I wanted it to be? I looked away, avoiding his gaze. This was my new mood talking- I was certain of it. I was looking for comfort and pity.

"I can officially say Vincent Valentine is a good dancer. Who would have thought." My snickers halted as he pulled me flush against him, his body still swaying with the music.

"You needed it," He whispered.

My stomach by this point was slowly doing flips and had enough butterflies to fill up every flower in Edge. His eyes departed the glazed look and I gasped at the new emotion there. I tried to read it before it disappeared- was there fear there? I recognized the frustration, with a bit of anger, but there was something else there.

"What?" I answered, having no interest to keep the hushed voice he was attempting to do. I did feel better, like I felt I could carry on. I never thought dancing make me feel so free, then again- I never tried.

"Tifa," He nudged my head on his chest and I stiffened against him. There was no intention in his actions, leaving me confused and distrustful. I didn't want to do something I would regret. I didn't want to loose a friendship that he had only with me. It was the only thing that felt special in my life.

"You can cry now."

I froze. He understood it all. I didn't have to use the fake smile and say that everything was okay when it wasn't. Vincent knew. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I listened to his heart- quick from dancing. The dancing- that's what it had been all about. I understood his intentions now, the intentions that had been there all along. He was helping me relax so I could straighten out my emotions.

He had surprised me twice today- dancing and being something more than I had ever expected.

Inhaling the scent that had helped me so much earlier- now faded with sweat and time, I took a moment to try and compose myself- out of habit.

"Tifa, you _need_ to cry. You need to let yourself free." The man who mourned the loss of his love was telling me to mourn mine. We truly did have something in common. But did that mean he cried as well? Was he free?

Then it came, what had been building up for all those hours. The tears trickled down my cheeks as I muffled a sob into his shirt. My fingers curled into the soft fabric, kneading it on his back as he tightened his hold. I felt him rocking me, watching as the scenery moved back and forth in a light rhythm. The music drowned out my cries of sadness… and somehow I knew I was crying out of happiness.

Happiness that Cloud was happy. Happiness that two people were in love. Happiness Vincent was there, with me, and helping me fight away all the darkness. Happiness to be free.

I wasn't allowed to cry for long however. Vincent tilted my chin so he could see my face. I swallowed the thickness from my throat. He was gentle and kind; the crimson in his eyes a liquid warmth.

"We should dance every night. I could show you what you need to know." The suggestion was more than what he whispered. It was what I needed, human companionship and closeness while keeping my mind busy in learning something new.

"Until the wedding." I would have to dance at the wedding, and if I knew how to dance, it would give me the confidence to be there in general.

He nodded, the corner of his lip curving upwards in a smirk. "Until the wedding," he verified.

"It's a date then," I whispered, but I voiced the next thought as it rushed by. "How much dancing do you know?"

"More than enough."

I slipped away from him then, wiping my tears on the back of my wrist. He squeezed my arm in another sign of comfort before he disappeared into the kitchen. Reappearing with a glass of water and his black jacket thrown over his shoulder, he came back.

I took the water without a sound, staring at the depths with what I knew was some contentment. "Vincent?" I looked up at him and his silence, noting the raised eyebrow for me to continue.

"Are you free?" I hugged the glass a little tighter.

He tilted his head, holding up a hand to tell me he was thinking things through. "Yes. I am free."

My suspicions got the best of me. I didn't want comfort this time. "Is that the truth Vincent?"

Vincent's lips grew into a gentle smile. "Yes."

I blinked as a realization struck. "You learned to be free by dancing." It all made sense, why he insisted to dance so.

He slipped his jacket on, striding for the door. Opening it, he stood- gazing at the night beyond. "No… I learned dancing is a way to express yourself- read others. It was a Turk trick, to examine the human mind while the body danced. Emotions are embedded in dancing."

I frowned, struggling to follow it all. At least my mind was clear enough to comprehend it. "So you were reading me?"

He finally looked at me, his focus unthreatening as I stared at him. Nodding, he waved a hand. "Yes… you want human companionship, but you're afraid to let Cloud go."

"You learned all that by dancing?"

He chuckled his deep brass. "No, I connected the ideas. Human companionship is from dancing." With those words, he stepped through the threshold and began closing the door. He froze when the door was nearly shut. "You will find it again Tifa, you just have to accept the past first."

The door closed behind him- leaving me in the middle of my bar. Somehow, I sensed his last words to have more than a universal truth.

Somehow- I knew he was speaking from experience...

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, I know I have two other stories to update on, but this story was driving me mad in one of my classes so I wrote it to calm my overly creative brain. Don't worry- the other two are not forgotten. I would love some reviews on this story- just because I'm frightened of writing in first person. It's up to you guys to let me know how I'm doing. I promise, updates will come very soon.**

**Yours Truly,**

**J  
**


	2. First Steps

**A/N: Wow, it's taking me a while to update. This chapter is really long so I hope it makes up for all the time I've been hiding!**

* * *

I knew, from the time I woke up after our night of dancing, that I didn't have a duty to be waiting for Cloud. That worry, was long gone, thanks to Vincent. Now others were forming, like where my happy ending was hiding! It was hard for me to understand why I was jealous of Cloud's fiancé and I couldn't prevent the dark and depressed thoughts. I didn't have a future, only darkness.

"Tifa?"

I looked out of instinct, my name such a regular occurrence in my own place that I felt no need to register the owner of the voice as my head jerked up. I had been expecting Yuffie, for she had left my bar to run some errands and instead, my door was ajar with Bee standing hesitantly in the threshold.

Cloud should have warned me she would be arriving. I had my internal peace to worry about, not her constant needs.

Bee stepped forward and it didn't hit me I should have requested her to come again at a different time. I wasn't ready for a confrontation. I wasn't ready to deal with other people's problems when I wanted to deal with my own.

Cloud had spoken earlier, when he first met Bee, that she had a temper, but he loved her and she was never angry. I only hoped hers could match mine.

Maybe I should have used the excuse that I was preparing the bar for another busy night and had no time to entertain guests. Maybe I just should have told her to go take a long walk off a short pier. I wasn't interested in her presence today, not the day right after finding my little bit of paradise… also named Valentine.

…Right, Vincent would go for that. 'Little Bit of Paradise Valentine'.

Her bright ivy eyes lightened upon spotting me, even in the gloom of the closed bar. "Hi Tifa! I was just coming by to talk to you about the wedding plans."

I sighed and returned to moving the tables across the floor- the groan of metal feet upon wood earsplitting, but at least it droned Bee out. "I'm kinda busy," I muttered.

Why did I have to deal with her?

"This will only take a minute," she insisted, pulling out the folder she had tucked under her arm. Slapping the leather-bound papers against the table I was pushing, she folded her arms across her chest in expectation.

I sighed again, knowing she heard, and leaned over the table to the papers, wincing at the photos glued to the stark white pages. Each image contained a building of sorts with a flowering courtyard beyond. I glanced up at her in question, feeling the intensity of her gaze on my cheeks.

"Well, what do you think?" She asked, twirling blond hair in her fingers.

"It looks… nice…" I answered, my tone foreign even to myself.

As I studied the pictures, with the white clothed tables and possible flower arrangements decorating each, I swallowed down my self-pity. I wanted my own happy ending. It wasn't fair. What did she have that let her get a happy ending? What was I missing?

I stole a glance at the ring on her left hand; the large stone glittering in what sunlight there was filtering through in the first place. Cloud certainly knew how to pick 'em.

"You're lying. What's wrong with it?" She pouted, taking a closer look at the pictures while giving me a shortened glare. I had a feeling that if a speck of dust could be spotted, there would be chaos.

"Nothing's wrong with it," I insisted, staring at her in shock. "It's a very pretty place. For the reception I take it?"

"Yes," Bee flipped her hair over a shoulder, chewing on her lower lip before releasing the hold. "I wanted something a little elegant, you know?"

The pictures showed more than a 'little' in my book.

Her eyes finally met mine, the first time since she came here, and little alarms began ringing- telling me to run before something horrible happened.

If I had listened to those little voices in the first place, Sephiroth would have claimed the world. The pleasant expression transformed to something that of fury and I took a step back.

"Don't you dare ruin this day for me just because you didn't get him!" She sneered, looking on. "At least be upset when I'm not around."

I could feel the hinge of my jaw loosening until it hung there lifelessly.

The simmering in my chest churned into a wild typhoon and I could feel my fingers clench into my palms until skin broke. "I'm happy for him! I'm happy for you! We both agreed to see other people!" My voice cracked and I swung my arms about- glaring her down until I had ever intention of sending her through the wall.

She would not use me like Cloud did. I was determined to find my own life again and live it. Find the path that had my name on it and follow it to see where it would lead.

What I said was the truth, at least. Vincent had taught me that much. It had been hours since I even considered the wedding and Cloud, my world revolving around the bar and the idea of Vincent's dancing lessons.

"Bullshit!" she bellowed, her eyes narrowing. "I know you're trying to take him away from me, you can't get over him that quickly. Cloud doesn't believe you can!"

And there it was, what I had been dreading from her. It made me realize what Cloud saw of me, or at least, partially. So he assumed that I had been relying on him… how nice…

Maybe I had been, but again others disregarded my own personal opinions on the whole damn situation and the rolling tsunami had hit shore.

I couldn't stop my fist from flying, even though I didn't want to. Hurting others wasn't normally my plan, but as my knuckles met her jaw, the released tension from my shoulders was overwhelming. Staggering back, I watched as her body was twisted sideways from the impact.

"I'm over him," I snapped, my shaking hands playing with themselves in front of me. Bee clutched her jaw, straightening though obscuring her face with a veil of hair. "Now get out, I have work to return to. Don't expect me to worship the ground you walk on simply because you're getting married. Have a little respect for me."

Bee finally glowered at me through matted hair, blood trickling from the corner of her mouth. "You'll never find someone who loves you. Not with the way you are. You think _I_ have self-centeredness?! Look at yourself."

Long ago I could ignore such words, but as I let them sink in, my vision began to blur as hot tears rushed down my face. Wiping them away with the back of my sweater's sleeve, I resorted to pushing the table.

I wasn't that cruel and selfish, was I? No matter how much I attempted to see her reasoning, I couldn't. It was impossible to be constantly happy and uplifting for others when something so close was wretched away.

I didn't love Cloud in the way I used to, but I wished for him to remain in the 'family' I called us as. That was quite clear in my mind, but being the one closest to him and yet being forced out of his life was heartbreaking. I thought I meant more to him than something used and thrown away.

Part of me wished he had let me help in the plans, even giving a little suggestion on what ring to buy for Bee would have made me feel a little more secure. Just to know that I was a friend, not a used object for when he was upset and needed comfort.

Was my worth really equal to a bag of garbage? From my perspective, yes, Cloud certainly saw me that way. Now Bee was expecting everything from me, thrusting me into the plans already half-baked… to once again take care of a big decision for Cloud.

If and when I helped, what would I become then? When their lives continued afterwards. Would become a memory…? My heart sank with despair while my lower lip trembled.

Bee snatched her book before it too, went across the room. Standing there stiffly, she sighed angrily. "Cloud's right on a lot of things, you weren't one of them. You don't deserve him, you don't deserve anybody."

"I don't want him," I muttered. No… I had gotten my feelings straightened out. It wasn't _him_ that I cried about… it was everything else.

She spun on her heel, leaving me behind as she stormed for the door. It opened right as she reached it, Vincent stepping through and freezing in surprise at Bee's determined march. His claw remained on the door handle, one eyebrow skimming his hairline.

His jacket was slung over one arm, the neckline of the white shirt slightly unbuttoned to expose more skin than normal to the warming weather. He hadn't even tucked the shirt into the waistline of his dark slacks yet nor did he have his hair tied back.

It was as if he had rushed out of his home to get here, throwing things together to look presentable.

I knew I was being too hopeful at the very idea, though the lack of dignity and poise of what he was wearing worried me. That didn't mean I hated the new look… because the extra bit of viewing of his collarbone _was _attractive with the whole grungy persona…dammit… gutter… but still- Vincent _never_ presented himself as a casual 'bad boy' look.

Normally, Vincent would hide the scars of his past; loathe them like he forever did. At work, he didn't mind rolling up his sleeves, even if the scars snaking down from elbow to wrist were visible- no one cared to ask or even noticed anymore. I certainly didn't give them a second glance. His collarbone and visible chest were riddled of reminders from Hojo- sick and twisted little reminders that even I never questioned about. Nor did I ask about the gauntlet, why even after our years of battle, he continued to wear it.

It was his life to live, not mine to destroy with childish questions.

Though he was something to stare at. For a moment, I forgot Bee was even on my property.

…And I found my path at my feet, all because I was reminded of dancing lessons on the horizon. They weren't fake promises, they were solid vows that I could cradle and look on with happiness, but it still didn't stop the disappointment.

"Is something wrong?" He asked hesitantly, stepping out of the way as Bee shoved past. I was almost certain she made sure her shoulder slammed into his chest along the way and I felt a swell of anger. Perhaps my imagination was overreacting. His eyes met mine as I watched, pressing silent questions and searching for answers.

"You know what? There is," Bee snapped, halting beside him. "That woman," she flung her finger at me, "just wants to take everything away from everyone else!" The only thing I heard afterward was the sharp clip of her heels on the pavement.

"No…" I whispered hoarsely, shaking my head with determination. I couldn't breathe and choked down the overwhelming tears.

I didn't want to look at him- I knew the disapproving look on his face would only make me feel humiliated. I was letting my jealousy send me spiraling into self loathing and Vincent had too much experience on such a position to not understand. Even if his features held the blank expression almost naturally, I still couldn't compel myself to look up. I heard him turn and quickly held up a hand before he could rant.

"Don't," I hissed, feeling my throat close up. "Just don't." Giving the table one more shove, I stormed for the kitchen, my place of safety and solitude from the world.

"Tifa?" Vincent called, and I heard him follow me. He stopped when I reached the sink, but without looking, I had no idea if he could see what I was doing. To be honest, as I sighed grimly, I didn't care.

I pulled the handle for water and watched steam begin to rise. With a wince, I dove my hands under, determined to feel again. To know that I still could experience emotion. I welcomed the pain of heat across my skin, staring bleary eyed as tan flesh turned red and angry; not minding the least that my sweater sleeves were becoming a soaked rag.

I felt empty and I feared losing everything I had; tumbling into oblivion. Vincent was the only person close to me left, especially when Denzel moved to go live with Cloud and Marlene returned to Barret.

Now I feared her words were taking Vincent away… and the dancing lessons… the only things I did care about now. Not that I disowned Marlene and Denzel, I still loved them as if they were my own… but…

Ow.

"Tifa," Vincent sighed, coming up to stand directly behind me. I shuddered and bit my lip, moving forward out of instinct to give him space as the hard planes of his chest brushed up against my shoulder blades.

"Vincent." My attempt to sound offended reminded me of something more pathetic. If he paid attention to my tone, he didn't mention.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I need to." I wasn't expecting the truth to escape my mouth and I quickly clamped up. If Bee insisted I was cruel and selfish, I didn't want Vincent to be at the brunt end of it. I especially couldn't do such a thing to him, considering what his history was made of.

From then on, I had every intention of sacrificing _everything_ I had for others… I didn't want to be rude and self-centered. The prospect of that future hurt more than the physical pain of hot water.

I had assumed I was being a good friend, giving and never asking anything in return. Perhaps that was the reason of it all. Suddenly I want something, my own happy ending, to live a part of my own life; and now others loath me because of it.

"Why can't things be fair?" I demanded, refusing to face the man I was searching the answer from.

"Life is difficult, but we all must try to mold it the way we wish it to be." It sounded more like he was reciting a poem than answering my question. I gritted my teeth at it. I wanted _him_ not some old philosopher.

That came out wrong… dang it…

I swallowed down the swelling tears, I couldn't tell him. I didn't want to see him wallow in my pain for me.

"Go away Vincent, I need to think." The lowest excuse on the workable scale, but it was the first that came to mind.

"You hit her… there was blood. Why?" It was a soothing lullaby, his voice dropping an octave just for me. I shivered.

I chose to ignore his question and made one of my own. "Am I selfish Vincent? I don't want to be selfish, I _try_ not to be." I had to know and he would be the one with the answer. Vincent was the only one I spoke to and saw regularly. He _had_ to have the answer.

"No." It came too quickly from him, and I felt his chest bump against my spine in a long and tired exhale. "You wish me to elaborate?" His breath tickled the side of my face as he lowered his head. I refrained myself from leaning into the side of his face with my own, closing my eyes to shun away the thoughts.

I could only nod. The water was continuously rising in temperature and my hands clenched at the pain, but I couldn't remove them yet. I _wanted_ to feel alive, because I couldn't feel my heart anymore.

Part of me was dying- or had died already- and no matter what I did, I couldn't revive it. It had to have been my sense of direction; because I didn't know what path was set before me anymore, even with the idea of dancing. I didn't know where I should head or what I should do, and that's what frightened me the most, being lost without a sense of where I was heading.

Cloud had used up everything I had and dumped me after his interest went elsewhere. How that hurt and with his lack of communication, even our friendship didn't mean much.

"You live for others Tifa, you stayed for Cloud even though you could have continued your own live with romance, work, and relaxation. You're will and strength was given to him- a great gift. You are far from selfish… is this the reason you struck Bee?"

It took me longer to form the speech I intended, and Vincent slowly began rubbing my arm in comfort. "Please Tifa," he insisted when I remained silent for a while more.

"Sort of," I answered. Wow, what a speech.

His claw slid up along side my hand till it slipped into the flowing stream. Cupping the water to steer it away, my hands were now safe from the pain and I stared at the ragged and burned skin. They would be sore for a few days, though that was dull in my mind compared to other things.

Vincent was trying to protect me.

I continued to stare, watching the gauntlet begin to steam as the metal heated. How the hand beneath the gold must ache- the metal warming more rapidly than the water provided. But not once did he flinch, even when the seconds turned into minutes.

"There is no need to hurt yourself," He said softly, the normally rough baritone no more than a growl. "You are not at fault nor are you selfish… and I am here for you, no matter what occurs in our future."

Our… he wasn't going to leave. He wasn't going to judge me. I should have assumed that- it was Vincent after all, but I had been so upset that maybe I hadn't stopped long enough to consider it.

His other hand slowly grasped my own hands, escorting them out from the fray before letting the water spill without interruption- the claw moving instead to turn the handle. Without the constant hiss, the kitchen seemed even emptier. I felt like I could relate.

But our… he said 'our'… suddenly the world seemed a bit brighter. I wasn't alone and I didn't have to be afraid of what was around the bend.

I didn't fight as he slowly spun me around, making sure his gauntlet remained off of flesh, for steam continued to raise away the metal. I avoided his gaze anyway, choosing to stare at his dress shoes instead. It wasn't to last though, when his human hand cupped the side of my face to force me to look up.

Those dark specks, I was so close I could see them clearly now. The light reflected off them, exposing the mixture of hues that created the crimson irises. His jaw was clenched as he nearly shook me. "Promise me you will refrain from hurting yourself over such things. Call me and I will be here, whatever the time."

So he thought I was suicidal? Even if his tone was complete seriousness, my stomach fluttered at the idea of someone expressing care to me for a change.

"I promise," I nodded into his hand, closing my eyes at the warmth and the tingle that came with his touch.

"Uh… am I supposed to knock? Or do you just do that when you know something funky is happening in a bedroom?"

Vincent clung to me, holding onto my wrists to prevent me from looking civil in front of Yuffie. We both glared at her standing in the doorway, her hands placed precariously on her hips for added effect. As if I was her child caught in the act of making out in the basement.

"I hope you knock at other times as well," Vincent's eyes rolled to the ceiling. "Thieving is not a skill you should possess."

"Ha! So says the sexy gunslinger! Look at you, are you _trying_ to turn the heat up even more?! I mean, skin exposure is so…" she threw up her hands, "so yummy!" I blinked at her and she glanced my way. "And no! I'm not drunk. This is complete sober Yuffie!" She tossed her fist into the air with a playful grin and I stifled the small chuckle at the disgusted squint on Vincent.

Never would Vincent understand her. Heck, I barely could get by myself. What I did know, was that there was never any peace in the house when the two of them were together. It was as if Vincent pressured her into driving him into is sadistic humor.

I wouldn't complain.

"I don't see a difference," He snorted and I laughed anyways, earning a smile from him as he stared at me.

The playfulness disappeared as Yuffie grumbled at him. "Asshole…" The sober demeanor didn't last and she returned to bouncing in place. "Tifa! Vincent and I are going to take you out tonight," she pointed a finger at me. "No bar opening for you!"

"We are?" Vincent rumbled, and without looking, I knew the incredulous expression there.

"Yes party pooper, we are!" The ninja threw her hands up in the air again, her eyes rolling as equally quick. "Man, Chaos must really make you as dense as a doornail."

Relinquishing his hold on my hands, Vincent slid past her. It gave Yuffie a chance to poke him in the side, grey eyes daring crimson to make a comment. He shied away from her pry and continued walking. "Technically a doornail isn't quite as dense as other objects, considering it is quite thin. If you intend on making such an accusation- I suggest using rock or some such next time. And 'yummy'? Yuffie, where do you get your vocabulary?"

Only Vincent would become the professor on _that_ matter.

Yuffie shook her head, "Gotta love him to feel like punching his face in, right?" She laughed, wiping her eyes to brush away invisible tears from her mirth.

I didn't want to go out. I didn't want to go anywhere except my own bar. "I think I'll work tonight Yuffie, thanks for the offer though."

Her jaw dropped as she rushed up to me, shaking head and hair alike. "No, I'm not letting you. I've got this brilliant plan and everything!"

"I just don't feel like it," I insisted, my brow furrowing as I pressured it. I watched Yuffie's gaze turn deadly.

"You. Will. Come. Out," She pointed a probing finger into my side with quick jabs. She gasped as she gripped my hands, raising them to my face as if the blistered skin had materialized there. "What the hell happened?!"

"Hot water," I pulled away, trying to hide them behind my back.

"And now bandages," Vincent continued, gripping a clear plastic first aid kit I hid behind a few bottles of wine in the talons of his gauntlet. Resting his weight on one leg, he halted at the doorway of the kitchen.

Sighing, I followed him into my small public bathroom, leaving Yuffie behind in the kitchen. I was surprised she didn't want to follow, and glanced over my shoulder in attempts to be polite. I could at least ask if she was interested in having a conversation. She was nowhere to be found.

Vincent placed the kit on the corner of the cream colored sink and motioned for me to sit on the toilet- closing the lid with a nudge of his knee. I followed his orders, plopping myself down and waiting for the lecture to begin- resting my elbows upon my thighs.

"Do you think it's strange that I can get over Cloud so quickly?" Breaking the silence, the scrapping of wrappers being opened stopped. I kept my focus on the floor, for old times sake of keeping the atmosphere comfortable.

"No. You were struggling through denial."

I snorted. "Denial?"

"Tifa, I've witnessed you for two years unaffected by Cloud's wanderings. His decision merely came… unexpectedly. It was shock and denial, nothing more."

His deep brass calmed my frayed nerves and I inhaled to take the next big step in the conversation. "I don't think… I truly loved him in the way I always pretended to think. That's the only explanation I can think of to understand all this. Do you think that's possible?"

Vincent chuckled, "Anything is possible Tifa."

I scowled, my eyebrows straining to meet in the middle till it hurt. "Seriously Vincent."

The former Turk snorted, bending low to wipe a white piece of cloth across my fingers- the metal wrapping quickly tossed in the garbage by the wall. I smelled the alcohol before I felt it, hissing at the sting it caused. Vincent winced along with me, "Sorry…"

"It's gotta happen," I answered through clenched teeth, wishing I could continue talking, but my jaw remained firmly glued to the roof of my mouth.

"To your question, yes, I think that could be one of the major reasons toward your lack of interest."

Tossing the cloth into the metal tin as well, he stood from his crouch and returned to filtering through the kit in search of other supplies. I examined my hands, "I just wished I had my happy ending."

Vincent paused, looking over at me, "A happy ending? I'm not quite sure I follow."

I laughed and it sounded more hysterical than anything else. "A happy ending…you know- a relationship, love, and even a family. And I want them to be mine. Is… is that a little too selfish?"

"No, everyone has a title to happiness. It is not selfish at all." He returned to me, resting on one knee in a mockery of marriage proposal as he began carefully wrapping white gauze over the burns.

"And did you find that happiness?" I tried to catch his eye, but he refused to look up from his work. His fingers did halt against my gauzed hand before he ripped the material from its roll to tie it up.

The other hand began to receive the same treatment. "I suppose so, yes."

He was lying, I was certain of it. My white hand grabbed his chin, forcing him to work without his eyes. Part of me wished I could stroke his jaw line, truly feel him, even if it was only so I could state that I did…dammit, gutter. "Really? I don't believe you Vincent."

"Well, each of us has a different version of what you title a 'happy ending'."

"Oh…" I dropped the subject, knowing when not to push Vincent past his willing limit. Lowering my hand from his chin, I rested it on his open collar. "So, care to explain to me why you're dressed like this?"

Vincent chuckled and my fingers prickled as the vibrations slipped into my hand. "I woke late."

"Well, I thought I'd let you know Yuffie will now be drooling over you more than usual," I shrugged innocently, feeling the smile anyways. I didn't want to share that I was drooling since the moment he strode through the door.

"So I have been warned."

He finished tying the cut strands of gauze and stood. I was about to say thanks as my mind instantly slipped into the gutter, my gaze now level with that of his black belt. My stomach clenched and I couldn't find the strength to swallow or look up at him.

Okay… well… now what?

"Vincent, tell me your happy ending."

The gunman retreated, allowing me to stand. Facing him, I waited for his answer- watching as his eyes became guarded and emotionless. So I was stepping on hot coals- I wasn't worried. If it were Yuffie instead of me, she would be already dead.

Me on the other hand- was a survivor of Vincent's death glare.

"I cannot tell you," He said sincerely.

I reached for him, gripping the fabric of his shirt between my fingers. "Why not?" Leaning my head on his shoulder, I listened to his heartbeat.

"Because that is for me to know and you to find out," he answered and tried to slip from my grasp. His hair brushed along my neckline as he ducked his head, catching the area that my sweater refused to reach and my skin bristled. Shuddering a sigh, I refused to release him and instead buried my face into his essence… that overwhelming sense of alpha male he was… just so I could feel safe for a few more minutes.

Safe, protected, and cared for- that's what Vincent was. He stilled and merely stood there while I bitterly thought everything through into his shoulder. And my special thought, he would only do this for me; my pillar of strength.

Then there was a knock. "Uh… so I knocked… now what?"

I laughed into Vincent's shirt, looking up a few seconds later. Vincent, keeping one eyebrow arched, held up his head to speak over my own skull. "I suppose now would be a good time to continue with your plan… do you have a preferred place for tonight?"

The ninja's grin turned sly. "Yep! The bar they named after us- AVALANCHE Oasis. We get free drinks there!"

I blinked as ideas clicked. "That's halfway across town," I insisted, hoping Vincent caught my drift. "And… you get free drinks here too."

He did. His gaze grew wary and the sigh was annoyed. "Return my keys and we shall go."

I released him and Vincent held out his gauntlet, palm up, in Yuffie's direction. A small jingling key ring was yanked out of the back pocket of her jeans. She dangled it in front of her face.

"Hey!" Yuffie shouted indignantly, "I just wanted to make sure you weren't going to sneak off!"

I stifled my snort with some effort. "You stole his keys?"

"Well… yeah. I couldn't let him disappear without us. He's the designated driver." She threw… not tossed… at Vincent and in a twitch his claw was between the keys and his face- the key ring now safe in the confines of his closed hand.

"Yuffie, the last thing I need is for you two to start a war before we even get there," I sighed, moving past them with a shake of my head- more astounded at Vincent's reflexive maneuver than anything else.

She waved the statement away, "Nah, the only one dumb enough to start a war is Sephiroth, and you know what happened to him." The ninja made a showing of an imaginary kick. "Drop-kicked right into the nearest garbage can!"

"If it had only been so easy," Vincent replied, his voice fading as I moved farther away.

Upstairs I rummaged through my closet, shedding my sweater for something a little more appropriate. Though what was considered appropriate at a bar wasn't high on my own appreciative clothing scale. I appeared with a slim fitting black top, something that Vincent had once upon a time complimented on.

Maybe I was wearing it for him, maybe for myself, or it was the only thing clean. I couldn't find a good enough excuse to completely avoid the first option, something my mind mulled over as I slipped it over my head.

If I had a crush on Vincent Valentine, why did I feel like we were just friends? Was that just he wanted to see us as? I feared being exposed, my emotions laid bare before him and seeing him turn away in disgust. I couldn't let that happen, even if what I felt for him was genuine or some complete irrational thought… simply because I was looking for comfort.

So I was over Cloud. That was step one off my to-do list. Now I just didn't want to become some sort of sex-addict because I was attracted to Vincent's physical beauty.

But I couldn't lie to myself either; I loved the complexity of his personality as well. The idea of just _being_ with him made me smile.

So what did that all mean exactly?

"Tifa?! I know you're a girl, and gods know that girls must be beautiful, but you're already pushing the beauty meter past its limit on a day-to-day basis. You don't need to do any more, so lets go!"

Sliding on my black sandals, I staggered in the tall heels before grabbing my coat and following Yuffie down the stairs. Picking up my purse along the way through the kitchen and verifying I had my phone and keys, I locked the back door and froze.

The vehicle in front of me was Vincent's. It was the first time I had actually seen him inside it, let alone being inside it myself. Yuffie was holding the passenger door open, the engine a light hum.

It was a truck. A big, black truck.

Giving the ninja a playful smile, I pulled myself inside, taking note of all the gadgets that I vowed never to touch.

"What are you looking for?" He sounded confused as I studied the middle counsel, reading what button did what.

"Looking for the button that ejects the person from the passenger seat," I answered, looking up to catch his brief smile.

"I shall make sure it is installed the next time I take it in."

I laughed, glancing back at Yuffie who skimmed into the middle seat behind us. Leaning her elbows on both front seats she looked between us. "How come I never get to hear Vinnie make the good jokes?"

Vincent's jaw clenched as his hand lowered to slip the car into drive. "Because you say that name."

"Well it is technically your name's nickname," Yuffie ranted, tapping him lightly in the shoulder.

I watched the scenery and listened, not interested in getting caught in the middle. I stifled my laughter nonetheless.

"And I do believe I technically requested you not to use it."

The ninja snorted, leaning back. "I don't see why, you just don't like to have any fun."

"On the contrary, I do find enjoyment in certain things."

I turned, staring at Vincent's profile as Yuffie leaned closer. I could only dread what would happen next and I didn't want to have to pay for part of Vincent's car accident. For wishing to take me out, this had become more of a bickering match.

"Like what?" Yuffie pressed, leaning in even closer in case the gunman muttered it. I blinked when I caught myself doing the same.

"Silence."

Gears clicked in grey eyes and I shied away from her. "You, you…" she scanned her vocabulary in silence. I opened my mouth but my attempt at peacemaking died before I could regurgitate it. "You pain in the ass! I want to take Tifa out on some nice evening fun-time and I ask a simple question and you just totally be a… pain in the ass!"

"Can't we all just get along?" I asked softly. I didn't want to show that I was enjoying the bickering, even if it was causing Yuffie to break the blood vessels in her brain while thinking up names to call him. It wasn't right to find a fight amusing, but as I looked between the faces- I didn't see frustration or even anger like Yuffie was verbally announcing… what I saw _was_ play.

"…Jerk…" Yuffie settled, giving Vincent's shoulder another affectionate slap.

I shook my head, playing with hair that slipped into my eyes. "What is with you two?"

The young woman put her head on the edge of Vincent's shoulder. "Love," she whispered, her eyes growing disgustingly romantic.

Vincent met my stare briefly, his lips twitching. "A very deep sort of love," He answered in a husky murmur… the voice I knew he understood made women's knees tremble.

It had the affect, I sensed, he was looking for. Yuffie's eyes widened and she moved away to stare at him. "Bull shit," she hissed, poking him in the arm- not enough to surprise him off the road.

"…Exactly."

I laughed as Yuffie grunted and retreated to the back seat to sulk. "He wasn't supposed to agree with me! He wasn't supposed to be _serious_ with it either." She looked at me, hoping that I would appease her.

"Of course, Vincent is never serious. Just bunches of jokes and giggles," I answered her with a smile.

"Giggles?" There was amusement in his voice.

"Yep, giggles," I repeated, slowly.

Yuffie cawed the last few minutes of the drive while Vincent and I fell into a satisfied silence.

I monitored Yuffie's reddened face stained with a few tears throughout the rest of the drive, which wasn't exactly as far as I had earlier assumed. Clutching her side, she calmed just as Vincent pulled into the parking lot behind the fairly large brown-bricked building. A sign above our heads flashed "Avalanche Oasis" with more enthusiasm any sign should have.

Vincent and Yuffie jumped out of the massive truck first, and for a moment I was more than willing to remain inside the black monster for a while longer. I didn't want to face cheering fans or answer annoying questions I had memorized the first day we returned from protecting the world.

How did you destroy Sephiroth again? Are you still single? Can I have your autograph? Where do you live? Yadda, yadda, and yadda…

I especially didn't want to bear the questions that dealt with Cloud and I.

Wrapping my arms around my waist, I studied the grout between the bricks in front of the car. I knew Vincent would accept my desires to leave, even drive me home if I requested, but Yuffie would have none of it. She had designed this little trip just for me… and I knew that even with my confused heart- I couldn't let her down.

My door opened, revealing the arched eyebrow of Vincent. "Are you coming?" He asked softly. Beyond him, Yuffie was spinning in place- humming to herself like a small child. I nodded, finding myself wallowing in my thoughts again… and realizing I was beginning to second-guess myself.

"I am here for you," His low voice was by my ear, his face bending forwards to keep the conversation between us. I froze, realizing that the pained reflection in the truck's mirror was my own.

"I'm sorry," I reached for his claw and squeezed it. "I don't mean to be a party pooper."

"Tifa," Vincent whispered before chuckling. "My Tifa, you are nothing of the sort."

My Tifa… he called me his.

I didn't pay attention if he bent down or if I stretched up from my seat, but when my lips grazed his in a light caress, I didn't care. My eyes flickered closed while his fingers tangled in my hair, our lips meeting once more with a little more robust than before. His lips were soft as they molded with mine, gentle and tender unlike the forceful encounter I had expected myself to want.

His throat vibrated out a low contented growl, holding me to him. Our breaths mingled as we parted and our eyes met:

He had called me his.

* * *

**A/N: Any comments would be much appreciated!**


	3. Chaos' Waltz

Staring at him, I couldn't find the words to explain, _apologize_, or even ask who should be put to blame. My eyes couldn't reach his, staying just at the base of his neckline.

The scars were still visible and I dully wondered if he would make himself less exposed before entering the bar. How I wished I could merely reach out and feel his heartbeat beneath my hand- just to see if he was affected by the kiss like I was or if he was choosing to discard all that had occurred.

"Come on guys!" Yuffie pleaded, wandering up to us to grip Vincent's nearest elbow and tug. "We should be inside already with drinks in hand."

"Very well." His voice was gruff as he slowly retreated… away from me.

No, Vincent- don't go.

The iron fist wrapped around my gut gave a tight squeeze. He had called me his and yet I found him pulling away, literally and figuratively.

Perhaps I had misplaced his words- maybe they were only means of comfort. Chewing on my lower lip, I slid from the seat and trailed after the two- Yuffie precariously hanging from the crook of Vincent's elbow.

I could hear her chatting away, something about how people would be crowding around them. Somehow, I couldn't find the will to join the conversation; my mind too preoccupied with what he had said…

He had called me _his_.

"Tifa…"

I collided into Vincent's chest with a surprised grunt. Stumbling back, I found the heart to look up and caught the guarded look from the old days. The constricting feeling began to increase and I inhaled sharply to keep my turmoil to myself.

Was I losing him?

"Would you like to be at my arm?" Finally the empty expression transformed into something familiar as his eyebrow arched.

My gaze dropped to the open elbow- his human hand and entire forearm entirely exposed.

If I said yes, would it hint at a weakness that I wasn't completely aware of- a weakness known as Vincent Valentine? And if I said no, it would only encourage Vincent to shy away further… something I definitely couldn't do.

I didn't want to lose a friend simply because there had been an unforgiving mistake like the kiss. The truth of Vincent's excellent kissing certainly didn't assist in the "friendship" idea any more.

I decided upon the lesser of the two evils… though being with Vincent was far beyond evil.

I dove my arm around his, wishing I was deep inside both his arms- hidden from the world and the griming reality that the kiss had been wrong.

I was in love with Vincent Valentine?

Impossible.

After Lucrecia, Vincent _never_ found another love. Not even a _crush_. Woman after woman would through themselves at his feet and he would merely insist they stand and walk around them. There was nothing. At least, so I assumed.

And yet, I knew that the man without feeling did have emotions. My precious eyes had seen them, all those emotions he tried to hide. How he could hate, fear, and laugh like the rest of us.

It made me wonder why he continued to be the aloof man he was, even after being along side us for years.

After Cloud… was I to follow in Vincent's footsteps? If that was to be the case, my happily ever after would never become something real.

I stifled the groan from the vice grip on my stomach and this time, my heart along with it. No, not my happy ever after- I couldn't lose that.

Vincent held the door, ushering us inside. Instantly upon seeing us, the bartender announced our arrival throughout- his loud voice echoing over the noises of music.

Silence.

The awkward situation provided a distraction, one I recognized and quickly grasped. Pushing the depressing thoughts away from the foremost of my mind, I examined the shocked faces.

"Hi!" Yuffie waved and a collective awe fell around the group within the bar. I leaned over to her, bending my head just enough to reach her ear.

"You don't encourage predators to attack," I whispered humorously, and she giggled. The gurgle from Vincent alerted me to his sensitive hearing and I stole a peek to see the corner of his lip threatening to climb.

Suddenly everyone began speaking at once, stools grinding against the floor as all tried to rush towards us to be the first. I stiffened, feeling myself returning to my former battle stance in preparation to ward off a stampede of fans.

The manager, a man who looked as though he had enjoyed a few too many drinks himself, rushed to us before the crowd of current customers drowned him out.

It certainly reminded me why I chose never to come here- even when the manager came to visit my bar on regular occasions. His purpose was to request for any memorabilia from our travels. I always sent him away empty handed. Our troubles and Aerith's death shouldn't be put on display.

A small man, the top of his head almost reached the center of Vincent's chest, he looked up at the Ex-Turk. "A pleasure to finally meet you Mr. Valentine. Please, come with me."

No matter how many times I turned him away- the man's manners always astounded me. Normally there would be a logic that after the last time of asking him to leave- his manners would dwindle in my presence.

Apparently not.

Vincent glanced at me, finding my searching gaze and shrugged. Avoiding the crowds struggling to greet us and mostly likely ask questions, the manager led us away to a smaller hallway in the back of the gloomy bar- a bar filled with black leather seats and pictures of AVALANCHE.

"In here," the small man insisted, pushing open a large, frosted glass door. Yuffie instinctively bounded inside- skidding to a halt at the threshold.

"W-o-w!" She breathed, turning to face us like a child on Christmas morning. "Look at this!"

Stepping around her, I blinked at the lounge, keeping my awe to myself. Soft fabrics covered pillows and cushions for leaning and sitting. There were over five of these pillowed seats surrounding a small fireplace – ablaze even though the freezing weather had dispersed a long time ago. Though, it incased the dark room in a soft golden glow.

The darkly painted walls were covered in old photos and prints. Wandering to the nearest wall, I leaned in closer to read the fine print. It was a new insight- seeing how people had viewed us after the destruction of Sephiroth.

We were saviors.

We were heroes.

We were perfect.

Or at least in the eyes our acquired…fans…

Then I needed someone, anyone, to explain to me why I certainly didn't feel very heroic or special. On the contrary- I was far from it.

"I built this place in case one of the AVALANCHE appeared on my doorstep," the manager explained to Vincent who looked down politely to listen. I squinted, determined to recall the man's name. "A place where they could relax in peace… or with what they wanted to hear."

Waving over to a hidden corner of the room, I followed the motion and caught a glimpse of a surround-sound system. Or at least, a part of it.

"If you need anything, just give a call. We have staff who can gladly get you anything you want," he continued, unaware that I chose to ignore him rather than focus on him.

"Thanks!" Yuffie waved, wandering over to one of the large cushions and settled, folding her legs beneath her as she leaned back into the vast piles of pillows.

After my explorations I mimicked her choice- tucking my legs as I sat. She grinned across from me- enjoying the pure pleasure of being spoiled and I felt my lips spread into a smile as I too, felt the pampered excitement.

"Perhaps we could get a bottle of wine, preferably a red," Vincent whispered softly and I glanced over my shoulder- realizing all too late that the manager had remained throughout my wanderings. Well, now he knew I was rude… how… wonderful.

"Of course, I have a fine red wine you would like," The man insisted, wandering away and quietly closing the door.

"I thought he would never leave," I muttered, dropping my head back into the pillows- staring at the dancing shadows on the ceiling.

"You have no taste for him?" Vincent inquired softly and I felt the cushion directly beside me sink.

My back stiffened and I sat up to stare. Vincent tilted his head beside me, his metal gauntleted arm shifting to rest along the pillow tops behind us. If he shifted it forward slightly, it would be along my shoulders instead.

How I wanted it, but was afraid to take. I reminded myself that I didn't want him out of pity or comfort. If he was just a stepping stone of strength in my life- I didn't want to take advantage of it or end up doing something I regretted.

Like the kiss for example. I winced and jerked to face the fire.

"I should have asked for an Apple Martini," Yuffie stated and I focused on her instead.

I wrinkled my nose at the name of the drink while sticking my tongue out in an exasperation of my disgust.

Yuck.

"You drink such things?" Vincent's deep baritone so close made me jump. He studied me once more before returning to Yuffie's conversation.

"They're good. If you weren't such an old fart- you'd understand," She huffed in annoyance- eyes narrowing at him.

"I'll work on knocking some years off then," Vincent snorted, though he didn't sound at all interested in trying the drink. I didn't blame him- finding the drink all too sweet myself.

"Well, I'm going to get one and leave you two to be all lovey-dovey," She grinned cheekily and choosing to ignore my startled hiss. I bit my lip in hopes to refrain my need to strangle her, but felt my cheeks beginning heat up. Great, blushing- just what I needed.

The door clicked closed and for a while- I just listened to the crackle of the fire… along with Vincent's steady breathing- something I tried to disregard.

"You don't wish to be here. I can see it in your posture," His voice was a hushed murmur.

"I suppose," I agreed, still keeping him out of my line of sight.

He grunted and the cushion beneath me moved as Vincent shifted. It was then that I lost my long-term understanding for him, and his damn riddles. Out of irritation, I spun to face him, startling both of us as our foreheads nearly collided. He retreated first, eyes wide as he struggled to regain the neutral composure he always maintained.

"What's you're happy ending?" I demanded. My patience was gone and it left me feeling depressed and alone once again. If I didn't get off such a nauseating rollercoaster, I was positive I would leap off the tallest building within Edge.

All because of one kiss.

His gaze flickered with suspended amusement as he studied me- my skin blazing where his eyes touched. "I thought I told you it was your goal to find out."

"I can't take it anymore Vincent. Who is your happy ending?" I circled around what happened in the parking lot. Just call me the daughter of Mr. Scaredy Cat and Mrs. Chicken.

"With the way you assume such things-,"

I leaned back to get a fuller view of his face- a blank expression as I expected. I couldn't hold back the impolite snort. "You're male- there has to be women after Lucrecia."

Suddenly there were emotions flitting across his features so powerful that I shied away from the fury- his upper lip curling in his anger and I reminded myself of the demons within the man exterior. It didn't stop me from loving all his personalities- including the cursed ones.

I considered them entities that no one could understand. But I had no intention of telling Vincent my views, especially when his gaze hardened whenever the demons were mentioned.

"Do _not_ compare me to a gender," He said harshly, "or Cloud," he added. I flinched at his tone, looking away to momentarily study the pictures along the wall- noting how Vincent remained at the back of the group. Almost out of sight except for the sparse glimpse of his ragged cloak.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, stunned at how much anger there was.

"No, I will answer your question," He stated, his voice returning to its normal roughness. Gripping my chin with his hand, he steered my face to his and I swallowed- feeling his fingers push against my throat. "I have had no women or relationships after Lucrecia. I will not find myself in a similar situation again."

He focused on me again with his lips quirked in a slight smirk. "Does that satisfy your curiosity?"

I found myself crashing into oblivion again and Vincent froze as I dove my head into his shoulder- feeling my control break and spill the unrelenting tears.

"I'm sorry," I repeated, focusing on keeping my sobs quiet. "I just…"

"Hush," Vincent soothed, his baritone barely above a gruff whisper. "You are all right- Cloud is gone and you've moved on."

How could he not know my problems? My sniffling slowed as I processed it… did he forget what we had done? Didn't he even consider what it could do to me?

"No! I'm not all right! Far from it! And it's not Cloud, I'm over him and ready for my life." I spun away from him… which wasn't difficult. He hadn't even held me to him, causing my heart to sink.

"Then what bothers you?" Vincent asked gently, pressuring me into venting even more. I took the encouragement, blinded by my own aching feelings.

I should have considered what the results of my outburst would be before shouting at the top of my lungs. It was childish of me to be so angry and blame him for what I considered was my fault in the first place. The kiss…

"It's _you _dammit!" I ran.

I couldn't see where I was going, nor did I care. I charged past the fans who were startled at my appearance and out into the street- seeing the sun spreading it's last rays into the sky.

There was a small lake nearby, a place where I used to take Denzel and Marlene, when they lived with me over the hot summers. Just to take a quick swim to cool off.

It was there, I decided.

I couldn't take it anymore. None of it.

It was there that I would try to end all of my problems.

I couldn't handle having my emotions being thrown about like child toys- expecting that when they struck something solid, they would survive. Why couldn't _he_ understand? Vincent, I spat out his name from my thoughts. I couldn't dwell on him when there was nothing, and I could expect nothing for the future. And yet-

Why had he allowed such a thing to happen? A kiss meant something- always did. The whole point of such things being in relationships: to express feelings.

The sidewalk was a harsh pressure against my shoes as I skidded around into the park- empty now that the weather had yet to reach the summer temperatures.

Wiping my eyes into tear stained sleeves, I stopped on the hill used for sledding during the winter months. Now, it was mud and rotting leaves from the fall before. Beyond it laid the lake, resembling the cold abyss I had been hoping for. The lake was now my peace and solitude.

Stepping away from the edge, I took a running leap down the hill- managing to land on my feet from years of learning proper balance.

My body still maintained the killing machine abilities… skills that unlikely would fade any time soon. I took advantage of them, marveling of how I managed to reach the bottom with little mud streaking my clothes.

Like I cared about my clothes.

Taking a breath of the chilled air surrounding the lake, I trudged on to the very edge- water lapping at the pebbled beach. It had been manmade, for the purpose of swimming only and served a perfect place for children to spend the day. I winced at the memories, both happy and saddening- of Denzel's smiling face or Marlene's awkward kicks for deeper waters.

How I loved them and would miss them. But this was something I had to do- for my own sanity's sake.

There was no point to remove my shoes, when would they serve otherwise? Instead, I waded in- my skin bristling as the ice-cold water swallowed my legs.

I forgot how cold it was. Instead of making me regret my decision, it made me want to continue. I was reminded of myself: cold, and desperate for warmth. It made me feel wanted- two colds finally together.

"Tifa!"

I spun, nearly falling in farther than I wanted to at the moment. All I wished was to take my time- not to feel rushed. It would only increase the stress and the pain of the memories that would fade along with me.

Next to with the future possibilities running through my head- futures I would never be able to have.

I wanted to suffer. And I didn't know why.

Vincent stopped at the very beginning of the pebbled beach- his arms held slightly away from his sides to keep his balance from the rapid stop. I could see the quick rise and fall of his chest. So he had chased after me.

My heart gushed with silent pleasure and yet, I didn't see it important. None of this would matter as long as I found myself rotting at the bottom of the lake.

I warded him off with desperate waves of my arms- shielding myself from his approach. He couldn't be allowed to touch me, not after everything that had happened.

I _couldn't_ be stopped. My mind had been made up… right? There was no turning back to an agonizing future that awaited me. The last thing that I intended to do was live through such a pain.

"Tifa, what are you doing?" He asked calmly- following my movements like an alert predator, mimicking me as I trudged parallel of the beach in attempts to be unaided.

I just wanted to be alone, but Vincent refused which made me even more furious. I glared at him with as much tension as his eyes bore at mine, though I sensed it was more ridiculous than anything else- considering I was waist deep in water.

Very cold water. Ironic how I had burned my hands earlier and now intended to freeze to death.

"Leave me alone Vincent Valentine," I retorted, deciding to humor him. I should have just dunked my head under.

"I can't do that," he responded, stopping as I did to glower.

"Yes you can," I muttered and sank into the water with one final gasp- letting it swallow up everything I was. Beneath the water, Vincent's shouts seemed distant along with any remaining light.

The deep void was an overwhelming sense of silence. And I intended to accept it, even though my spine bristled at the eeriness of the darkness.

He would come after me, that I was certain. I couldn't have that, not when I needed to complete with what I had started. I kicked off the bottom of the lake, swimming for the deep center.

There was only this and nothing else seemed to matter. Part of me regretted not wishing anyone I loved farewell. But perhaps it was better this way…

…to just get things over and done with. It would make everything a whole lot simpler.

Vincent's voice faded and part of me cried out in sorrow. Instead of dwelling on what should have been or what could have been, I exhaled, watching the bubbles spurt upward until my lungs burned.

There wasn't a lot of time before I inhaled- choking on water. It was agony and yet- I felt content as my body struggled. Curling in on myself, I fought the urge to shoot for the surface- just clenching my eyes shut to wait out the pain.

The sudden tugging at the back of my sweater was a sharp jerk to my curled form and only forced me to choke even more. Everything seemed so far away and yet, I was undoubtedly aware of the cold striking the skin of my body… with the fiery heat pressed along my right side. A dense source of warmth compared to the ice of the water.

The pebbled ground was once again solid at my back before I was rolled to my side where a clouded vision could make out water spewing from my mouth. I couldn't move, I couldn't breath, and I was afraid.

Because I hadn't died… I had failed.

His warm arm wrapped around torso- placing his palm against my shoulder blades to pull me up. How much that little movement, even if it was against my will, hurt so much that I even tried to scream. It came as a weak gurgle and I struggled to move the lead weights, known as my arms, to shield myself from all his decisions made without me.

I didn't want this- I wanted to _finish_ what I had started. I wanted to _leave_ this place that made me so miserable.

An icy object was pressed firmly against my cheek and I instantly felt the tingling shocks of a Materia. A familiar sensation that slowly eased the burn in my lungs and tingled through my fingertips- leaving my gurgling only from surprise. It gave me the ability to automatically flinch from the extra cold- shivering to compensate the loss of heat.

If anything, the Cure Materia made me feel even more alive. A little exhausted, but nonetheless empty of water.

The whole point was to be dead.

My eyes began to water and it took me a long time to understand that it was tears striking the tiny rocks.

"Rest," Vincent said above me- the heat source crouched over my legs. But his voice sounded…strange. My mind had returned, and along with it- the rest of the world.

The familiar chirp of birds saying their goodnights before the sun truly disappeared, the gentle rush of a spring night's breeze, and even the body crouched over my knees grating along the pebbles with a slight movement. All of it was there… and I could understand what it all was.

Dammit… I had made my choice not to be part of any of it.

I opened my eyes, blinking at the yellow irises set in sooty grey skin and partial of a crimson mask. My gasp only caused more coughing and sputtering- but I sensed the dangerous waves Chaos' presence released even through my spurts of rigorous gagging.

The need to run swallowed my other emotions and thoughts. And for that, I was grateful of the demon's appearance. I didn't have to think about my attempt at death, and I didn't have to consider my future for a brief moment.

Chaos had always been that way, an immense being of power that even a regular passerby could understand. Simply because the waves the demon emitted were so powerful, it was more of a cloud of unwanted emotions to the target.

The first time Vincent had transformed for us, Cid had exclaimed (later of course) that he had pissed his pants out of simple, individual fear- a fear no one could control.

Yuffie had never let the subject drop.

I dully noticed my sobs ceasing until I realized my sniffling nose was clear. Instead, I just… stared into those golden eyes and… not once did Vincent draw away. He remained crouched over me, his nose nearly brushing mine and stayed absolutely still as my support, literally and figuratively.

"Are you all right?" he asked, his voice having obtained the strange echo Chaos brought. So that was what I had heard earlier- the lack of Vincent's presence as Chaos- as though he had been pushed far away from his consciousness to provide for the demon.

At least, that's what I had always assumed the echo was from.

Looking away towards the lake, I couldn't answer him. What to say? Merely shrug off what had occurred and dance through the field of daisies in happiness?

Like I could find a field of daisies in the first place.

"Why are you… well," I faded out, my voice rough and cracked. It hurt to talk, and it was difficult to decide if I wished to remain silent.

Perhaps it would be best, especially after all of this. I couldn't blame him for pulling me out and even though I decided that I had no will to live anymore- I feared returning into the water.

"I tried to swim to you, but… well, you couldn't be found. I needed to reach you in time and this form could serve that purpose." His gauntleted hand came into my view as he brushed a few wet strands from my eyes- tucking them gently behind one ear.

I hadn't even noticed them. I didn't want to consider the undertones of the touch- if there were any. I was just too exhausted to care anymore.

I had no way to explain what had happened or how I was feeling. And I didn't know how to apologize for his trouble. Part of me wanted to yell at him, but I couldn't find a liable reason to do so. Nor could I find a proper reason for any of it.

But this was Vincent… and Vincent didn't need an explanation until I was ready to give one. That I understood as he carefully straightened my tucked legs and picked me up- the ground rushing away.

Out of fear of being dropped, even though I knew it was highly unlikely he would do so, I gripped at his red plated shoulders. My stomach, sadly, didn't come with me and I spat up what I had for lunch- barely missing the toes of Vincent's metal shoes.

Shuddering, I winced at the after taste- panic pooling in what remained of my gut. Now he would think less of me, disapprove of my actions even more. I turned to apologize, my sinuses stinging from the stomach acid in my throat.

His wings snapped open and I flinched before words could escape, the velvety skin wrapping around us like a blanket. What I wasn't expecting, however, was the removal of his arm from around my back as the wing stiffened to prevent my fall.

I was suddenly cradled in softness and warmth. How his wing managed to maintain most of my weight was beyond my comprehension of Chaos' strength.

With the pad of his thumb, he wiped my mouth clean while carefully stepping away from the mess. His gaze remained focused on my mouth until he nodded verification that it was to his satisfaction.

This time, he avoided my eyes and I wondered if he realized the fear Chaos could control in a target. Whatever the case, he did focus on the bridge of my nose and I wiggled it at the self-coconsciousness his gaze gave.

"Everything is all right now," he insisted with a slight upward tilt of gray lips. "Forget your worries and live now, in the present… not the future…"

Somehow, he made everything right.

I groaned as the wing was removed for the replacement of his arm- the consistent warmth that I had enjoyed after such a chill, now gone.

He grunted- Vincent, Chaos- whatever he wished to be called, but nonetheless I glanced up at the noise. Seeing my attention, he shrugged, "The Materia most likely didn't do as much as I would have liked. Let me get us back to the bar so you may rest," He said gently.

Automatically, I pulled myself closer to his warmth and his physical strength. Without staring into those beast-yellow eyes, I lost that urge to fear and instead, clung to his neck in sheer desperation.

I just wanted to relax now. It was over and he was here. I didn't need anything else. My energy was spent on worrying and being afraid of my future. I felt like an Undead with no motive or object of focus and it felt… wonderful.

With a pang of guilt, I winced at what I had done… I had killed the part of me I didn't want to destroy- my sense of strength.

"Alert me when you grow cold," He ordered and with a leap, we were airborne.

Yuffie had flown in his arms once upon a time- when she had gotten herself into trouble and the only way out was up. She had told me it was like losing your stomach in a warm blanket.

I had a stronger stomach than she… and now an empty one at that. Hiding my face into his neck, I did have to wonder how Vincent assumed I would get chilled. It was as though we were protected from the wind chill by an invisible barrier. When the air finally did strike my exposed skin, it was surprisingly warm.

Maybe it was just my loony imagination.

The flight wasn't entirely long, considering I managed to run for the lake in just a few minutes. Moving way from my hiding place against his body- I swallowed down my floating stomach and dared myself to look down. Debris, ranging from plastic bags to empty beer cans, was swept away by the intensity of his landing, but I refused to cover my eyes. Vincent… or Chaos… deepened his wing beats till I felt the ground brush up against the soles of his feet.

A group of young men were mingling by a large, black dumpster and stepped back as we touched ground. Automatically, I flinched when I sensed the yellow stare meeting theirs. With frightened squeaks, glass beer bottles shattered against the pavement and departing footsteps was all that remained afterwards.

"I seem to have frightened them," Vincent said, amusement in the echo.

"You tend to do that a lot," I whispered, sharing the light humor.

"So I've noticed," he answered me, and I realized the slight curve of his lips was not from the humor, but rather satisfaction.

Because I was smiling… and I didn't even register why. I just… was.

And it felt wonderful: to smile without needing a reason or a care. And I knew I needed such a thing after… before. Embarrassed of my mixed and jumbled feelings, I prepared to tumble from his arms. His grip merely tightened with an audible sigh, obtaining my attention.

"Just relax and try not to move," he requested smoothly.

It was that moment when he began the transformation. My only warning had been the stiff posture as he arched his back with what I assumed was searing pain. Even though he was enveloped in a dark glow, I could feel the change wherever my body rested against his.

It was strange and completely out of place at the same time. I wasn't sure if I was more awed or disgusted at the sensation.

Vincent's whole stature began the quick process of shrinking minutely and even against his wishes, I automatically spun to wrap my arms around what felt like his neck. If he was feeling such agony, I certainly didn't want to be accidentally dropped.

Closing my eyes to hide from the dark, brooding light shrouding him, I tried… poorly… to ignore the movements of his transforming body. No one had told me that Vincent was extremely safe during a change. No one had told me that one could hear _something_ snapping as he put himself back together.

I was going to throw up in 3…

"Tifa," his voice was a low vibration against my arm. Looking up from the cream fabric of his shoulder- I blinked at crimson.

…And realized that I was probably strangling him. Releasing my hold with an apologetic glance, I reverted to simply clinging to his shoulders.

Wincing, I scowled at the black tarmac- how could I be so stupid? A martial artist who helped defeat Sephiroth and here I was, strangling Vincent Valentine out of terror. Still noticing his arched eyebrow and stare, I answered the silent question between us.

"I'm okay," I whispered truthfully, my voice raw and aching from before. Vincent's gaze softened with a nod and very gently, he lowered me to the ground, but kept one rough hand wrapped around my forearm.

In case I needed him. In case I fell. In case I couldn't stand.

And I loved him for it.

Turning to speak, my jaw fell. For a moment, I assumed I was speaking, until I realized I was standing there… with no words at all. I tried to find them again, the elusive words- but they were gone… and probably snickering with a bag of popcorn.

His clothing was torn: ripped to shreds. Chaos…

I processed everything briefly- strips of cloth that remained of his shirt hung limply along pale, muscled skin and pants as equally torn and hanging on by mere threads. Go pants.

There was more skin than Vincent had ever made visible- toned muscle over the curvature of bone.

There went my pure mind… and all my other depressed thoughts. No one could argue with me that Vincent wasn't hot. I just had my visual of proof.

By the power of my will, I jerked my gaze to the big, black dumpster against the brick wall. It didn't prevent the images from being burned into my brain.

Somehow, I knew this was supposed to be a moment of privacy- and I was invading it.

"Give me a moment," he said softly and I heard him slowly retreat. "Remain here."

I clenched my teeth to prevent them from chattering, something Vincent would have frowned upon, but I didn't care. I didn't need him to worry any further on my behalf. Chasing away the chill, I rubbed my hands together and felt my cheeks warm instead.

He was still there, inside my mind; a barely clothed Vincent. And there I was, ogling him out of sheer surprise. At least, it was what I wanted the jumbled emotions to be.

Right? I didn't have the honor of considering what could have happened or should have been. I was supposed to be _dead_.

The slam of a car door jarred me from my musings, along with startling the hairs on the back of my neck. My heart was already hammering, not from the… awkward… predicament I had been placed in with Vincent, but rather the fear of killing a part of me when Vincent wasn't around for the rescue.

He was _my_ hero: someone I could count upon to always be there. Even… if… the kiss had been an error of judgment from my own emotions. I mentally kicked myself and struggled to find a different thought train. I couldn't go back to what had caused… everything- from before.

No… not now… not when everything still hurt.

Vincent cared for me like he would any one else from AVALANCHE. He always _protected_ and was a guardian rather than a lover. For _everyone_.

Then the cause for my sinking heart was from…? …My… attempt at… death? I involuntarily shuddered and cursed my betraying mind and heart. Now I feared my own death, even though I had just attempted to create it.

Perhaps because I had failed? Or was it because of _Vincent_?

I didn't really want to leave him. And his trust in me- to be in his arms during one of the most reoccurring and frightening moments of his life, only made the urge to remain increase.

How could I leave to never return to someone who was so loyal?

A person who saved the world a couple of times could have a hero… right? Or were those only fairytales?

The first clap of thunder made me flinch and I automatically glanced at the sky. Roving the darkening heavens, I caught sight of the black rain clouds approaching.

Great… rain… nature seemed to share my feelings as well.

"Tifa, in here… _now_!"

Vincent was standing beneath the open hatch of his truck, scowling at the sky as well.

I should have walked faster… The downpour struck just as I was halfway to him, soaking me once again. Standing in the middle of it, I stared at the accumulating puddles around my feet- filling the dips in the pavement faster than I could take a step.

Vincent was a mere blurred shadow now along with the black block that remained as his vehicle.

"Tifa," Vincent repeated, and I caught his movement.

He shouldn't have to go into the rain simply because my feet failed to work. Shrugging off anything that would cause me to reconsider, I approached the open back of the truck- a dry place in the monsoon.

Vincent stood there, like a soldier ready to fight the rain for my safety. Scouring my face for any sort of injury, as if I managed to do so from the simple walk, he nodded.

And was wearing nothing more than another pair of black slacks. I automatically focused on his face.

"Don't worry, I'm alive," I said dryly. Both of us winced at the reminder.

"Get inside."

I obeyed, crawling into the open trunk and hesitating. I was soaked and dripping my own puddles, but here I was crawling on Vincent's upholstery.

This was very bad. I didn't want to ruin his vehicle.

In the corner of my vision, I caught Vincent clamor in and scoot back so he could reach forward and close the door.

Leaning back on his palms, he stretched out while I struggled to make myself as small as possible.

I was invading, he was being un-Vincent-like with bare minimum clothes, and my clothes were soaking into the fabric of his trunk.

I met his gaze and my wince tickled into a sheepish smile. He shook his head, strands of hair spilling into his eyes as his own lips quirked into a slight grin. "You will be cold if you remain in that position for long."

How could I care? I was _destroying_ his car. Shrugging nonchalantly, I stared out into the rain while listening to it beat against the roof.

Not enough time passed by before my shivering became visible. Of course Vincent had been right and I couldn't deny him the knowing look he shot my way.

"I will not pressure you to remove the wet clothing, considering I have nothing for you to wear and well…"

Yes, I know- it would only make things more awkward. I helped him by nodding. If I spoke, my teeth would only chatter more and I didn't need the humiliation. I had managed snow-covered mountains in less clothing than this so I could handle wet clothes.

"But I will not tolerate you shivering in my presence either." His tone made it clear, there would be no arguing with him.

Watching in shock, he crawled over the back seat and shoved the key into the ignition. With the car running, so came the heat.

Once satisfied, he returned to his former position and moved an arm in the mimic of curving around something. I frowned, struggling to make a connection. What did it all mean?

With a disgruntled sigh, he pulled me into his chest while leaning against the back of the seat. He had made it clear that I couldn't object…

…And didn't want to. Wrapping his arm around my back to hold me to him, I felt muscles tense from the chill my clothing on his skin brought. "Sorry," I muttered, resting my head on his shoulder to continue my rain-watching.

But my gaze only lowered to his chest and stomach- watching them rise and fall with his breathing until examining what else splayed across his skin.

Scars. Countless little silver lines that weaved along the muscles of his abdomen and dipped past the hem of his pants to tease my eyes. A large one ran directly down the middle to disappear beneath his pants while the others slithered around it- meeting up or running away.

They made me wonder and ache in sympathy. How could some one do this to another being? It was treachery, cruel, and heartless.

Vincent had survived it all, even through his depressed reign upon first leaving his coffin. To repent and mourn, that is what it all had been about and yet; he was existing extremely well in the present.

I squeaked when Vincent moved, pulling me into his lap with a grunt of effort. Placing me sideways, he finished his work by wrapping both arms around my torso to hold me there. Resting my head against his shoulder again, I sighed at the warmth that pooled from his skin to mine.

"I would force you to accompany me in a dance, however, a car is the least fitting place for such things," He muttered over my head. I stiffened as he shifted and I slid even further into his lap… with my forehead now pressed against the side of his neck.

It felt strange to feel his heartbeat pound against my skull, but I remained still- afraid to break what had Vincent so compassionate.

"Dancing would make it better?" I asked, struggling to see him, but only managed to stare at his jawbone.

"Perhaps not," He answered with dry humor while his thumb rubbed circles against my arm. His claw twitched where it rested against my thigh and I swallowed the thickness from my throat.

If Yuffie saw us…

Was this even appropriate for a friendship?

Now that question was a debate that threw my head in a spin. I frowned, attempting to dissect the problem and find a solution, but how could you find a solution to a problem that didn't have one to begin with?

But I could be honest with Vincent. It was _Vincent_ after all. With a muffled sigh, I watched his skin bristle from my breath. "I feel so confused," I began.

"I know," he whispered and I winced. Of course he knew, Vincent had gone through this… with Lucrecia.

"I don't feel alive, and yet, now I'm afraid to die. I don't want to leave everything behind. I thought I could… but I can't." I couldn't tell him that he was the reason for it all, not yet.

Maybe when he had moved on with his future.

"Is it alright to say that I'm scared shitless?" I asked helplessly with a sad smile.

"Yes, but I am here… to protect you from your fears."

"I know," I sighed, closing my eyes to block out the light. "But you're the problem," I muttered, bringing us back to the situation at hand.

"Every problem has a solution, Tifa."

His voice was a low murmur at my ear.

I was so tired, but couldn't sleep during the conversation. This was too important to pass up. I swatted my arm against his chest- letting it rest there against his ribcage.

His skin was soft and smooth from years of healing the scars over and I splayed my hand across it to absorb as much heat as possible. I buried my face deeper into his neck. "I'm sorry, 'bout the kiss," I continued, feeling everything spill open.

So Vincent knew all my secrets, big deal.

"It is not your fault, so therefore you shouldn't have to apologize." Another final statement I wasn't allowed to argue on. And I was too tired to fight back.

Damn him.

"But…" I yawned, "…kisses are meant to be _special_."

"You _are_ special, my Tifa, if only you could see through my eyes. My kiss was meant for you, never doubt and never regret. Now, sleep. I will wake you when…"

_My Tifa._

_So I slept…_

_My kiss was meant for you, never doubt and never regret.

* * *

_

**Yeah... I know- I've gone missing again. Hopefully this makes up for my lateness and I will try to post another chapter (either here or on one of my others) soon.**

**Every comment is appreciated so if you have the time, please leave one on the way out! See you around!**

**-J  
**


End file.
